


Baby Hold on to Me

by blakefancier



Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-28
Updated: 2011-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-26 15:09:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is happy to hear that Howard lived a full life, he just wishes he could talk to someone about it. He just wishes he could talk to Tony about it. Part of the "Wanting" 'verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Hold on to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I love Tony in all his daddy-issues glory, I do. But it always makes me sad that when the inevitable "I knew your dad" scene comes into play in fanfic, people seem only to concentrate on Tony's pain and bitterness and ignore Steve's grief and need to connect. Anyway, I wrote this. I wanted it to be longer, but Steve was falling apart and I need to be able to sleep tonight.

Steve tells him himself that it doesn't hurt to look at Tony, but that's a lie. He sees Howard in the shape of Tony's eyes and slight crook of his smiling mouth. And it hurts, oh, it hurts.

Not because Howard moved on, found someone to love—he's glad about that, happy that Howard was happy—but they only made love three months ago. They held each other, kissed and spoke in soft whispers, they lived, Howard lived, and Steve can hardly believe it was a lifetime ago because it feels like only yesterday.

Steve wants, desperately, to talk to Tony about it all, to ask for stories about his childhood, about his mother and Howard. The one time Steve tries, Tony practically snarls at him and those eyes, those eyes that are the exact shape of his father's, narrow and go cold.

He never asks again.

Instead, he goes to Howard's grave, and places a bouquet of wildflowers against the headstone.

"I met your son," he says, hands in his pockets. "He's brilliant, Howard. He reminds me of you: driven and intelligent and wild. That must have made you crazy, having a little you running around."

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"I… I'm sorry you had to mourn me. I'm sorry I made you grieve." He opens his eyes and touches the headstone. "I miss you. I love you."


End file.
